rampa with anton

muted instructors

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:34:39 GMT

i don't know whether it's the newest trend in gym classes. but i definitely find it weird for a les mills body combat class to be taught in hand signals. yes! hand signals people! two fingers pointing at the eyes to say look! then flashing digits using the fingers to say how many more repetitions to go. honestly man! it's crazy. oh. i correct myself. it was annoying!

lately, i find that the instructors at fitness first cebu are shunning the microphones. the body pump that i went to the past few weeks are going on without them. and now there's body combat. either their gear is defective or they just don't like using them anymore. either way, wtf!

i've been doing les mills classes for quite a while so i was familiar with the steps. but if i was a beginner, i would walk out of a class! hell, i'm not a beginner but still i wanted to walk out of it. the only thing that's keeping me in the class is the fact that i'm fat and i need to finish it to burn calories.

but seriously, wtf!

myView: a day in bohol

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 09:09:18 GMT

From Collages

myView: baclayon church

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 08:42:57 GMT

black and white shots inside the baclayon church

From bohol trip

senti dos

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:00:09 GMT

while rummaging through rows and rows of cds at odyssey in ayala looking for pinoy movies to bring to bangkok, i stumbled upon two pinoy compilation albums. senti and senti dos. senti dos has 18 pinoy love hits.

1. bakit ngayon ka lang - freestyle
2. hindi magbabago - randy santiago
3. panaginip - hotdog
4. kumusta ka - nonoy zuniga
5. hagkan - sharon cuneta
6. may minamahal - hajji alejandro
7. araw gabi - regine velasquez
8. pangako - rey valera
9. langit na naman - donna cruz
10. superstar ng buhay ko - cinderella
11. ikaw ang aking mahal - vst & co.
12. kung alam ko lang - toni daya
13. ipagpatawad - janno gibbs
14. tunay na mahal - lani misalucha
15. kahit ika'y panaginip lang - basil valdez
16. sa isip ko - agot isidro
17. dahil tanging ikaw - jaya
18. huwag ka lang mawawala - ogie alcasid

i know. jologs to the max. but kebs! listening to it was orgasmic. choz.

overdressed

Sun, 24 May 2009 07:09:19 GMT

one of the things that i enjoyed most about my current assignment is the dress code. except for fridays, anything is acceptable as long as (1) i wear a top with collar and (2) i wear pants. then come fridays, i can come in more relaxed, sans the shorts of course. awesome right? awesome indeed.

even when i'm working at the engineering office - read testosterone-riched environment - i would throw caution to the wind sometimes and put together a rather fab ensemble - pointed shoes, skinny pants and fitted, collared top. typical gb3 rampa material. yeah. i know. overdressed for a desk job. but like i told my man, i love dressing up. and i didn't have as much freedom now as i have in my other engagements. so why hold back my fab self? besides, i have rather limited number of simple tops. so how?

anyway, i acknowledged that i overdress sometimes. and i honestly don't mind it. but today was rather interesting. here's what i whipped together:

as i was passing by these two gay guys at work, i heard them clapped and smirked. i felt that it was about me coz i saw them checking me out as i was passing their work area. or maybe it wasn't about me and i was being paranoid. but one thing's for sure. i became self-conscious all day. and if there's a cardinal rule that i follow about fashion, it's that i should be confident enough to pull off whatever i wear. although i was still confident, i was just bothered by my self-consciousness. those damn bitches! i think it's about time i befriend them so they can compliment me upfront rather than behind my back. lol. narcissistic bitch! kidding.

anyway, i know that it's a defeatist attitude. but for the next few days, i'll be dressing it a bit down. too bad. i just bought two fab pieces from philosophy last week. =(

domesticated

Mon, 18 May 2009 08:34:49 GMT

yesterday, i did my grocery; prepared pandan jelly; cut and air-dried a bunch of parsley leaves; skinned, sliced and preserved two bulbs of garlic; cooked puttanesca; sliced and toasted a baguette and served dinner at 7pm.

today, i went home to cook lunch. it was simple compared to the dinner i prepared last night.

needless to say, i am tapping again into my inner domestic goddess-ness... the things i do to make my man happy... surprisingly though, i'm enjoying it. is this a sign of getting old or settling down? i wonder woman...

myView: randoms pics from melbourne

Mon, 18 May 2009 03:19:59 GMT

street sculpture

street art

alley art

street sign

myView: random pics from sg-bkk-kl

Mon, 18 May 2009 03:14:16 GMT

i was going through my phone pictures when i came across the following. i've been meaning to post them but for whatever reasons, i wasn't able to. until now anyway.

guilty pleasure from carl's jr

even the coke bottles are skinny in thailand

starters: crepe something

chatuchak singer

mobile dressing room

light at the end of the tunnel. literally.

step instructor?

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 06:30:15 GMT

i got a nice compliment from my step class the other day. after the class, the class instructor came up to me and asked me where i learned to step. i told him that i've been doing it quite a while in manila. i didn't tell him though that i also attended advance step classes in singapore and melbourne. although i wouldn't consider myself an advanced stepper, i think that i'm just around the border of intermediate and advance.

anyway, he then asked me of i wanted to be an instructor. i was surprised. i didn't see that coming. so i asked him how? he then told me that he can give me lessons. okay. since the lessons are free, why not right? so i agreed to meet up with him this saturday for the lessons.

hmmm... i wonder what would come out of this experience.

no refund

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 11:50:28 GMT

after having fun with auntie at the floating market, my friends and i headed for the grand palace in bangkok. fortunately, the traffic wasn't bad. unfortunately, the driver was taking his time. after more two hours, we reached bangkok. we then flagged a cab and went to the grand palace.

we got there with more than 30 mins to spare before the closing time. going in, i saw the signs for inappropriate clothes. shorts were one of them. i took no heed and went in with my friends. we had to shell out 350 baht each to get in. that's 477 pesos for you. when we were approaching the not-so-grand entrance to the palace, the police, in his tight-fitting uniform (i kid you not) stopped and told me that my not-so-sexy shorts (2-inches below the knee, one of my pa-butch shorts) ruins the grand ambiance of the palace. he then advised me to grab some free pants near the entrance. i was tempted to just walk out of the damn place. but 350 baht held me. i was giving up some shopping money after all.

so i headed to the white building to borrow some pants that someone wore earlier or, worse, the past x number of days or weeks. i dare not explore that idea. when i got in, another police in tight-fitting clothes tried talking to me in thai. when he saw my dazed lok, he realized that i am not thai. i told him that i need to borrow some pants. he was nice enough to tell me 'no'.
insert dramatic pause here. he was quick enough to explain that everything inside the palace is closed anyway. so he advised me to refund my money and come back some other day. i guess i wasn't too keen to see the place coz i didn't need any convincing. i turned around and told my friends that i was going some other time instead.

i proceeded to the ticketing window and asked for refund. the ticket agent paused first, then her eyebrows dipped in the center. she peeled a couple of hundreds and handed me the money, saying, 'no refunds!' i smiled as i took the 350 baht from her. no refund indeed. but i'm not complaining.

diving@mactan

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 13:28:36 GMT

we were diving in hilatungan in mactan cebu, 18m below the surface, when i felt something on my fin. i thought it was my dive buddy trying to get my attention. when i look down, i saw a 5-kilo fish attacking my fin! wtf!

i finally got to do two things today - use my new open water padi license and dive in mactan, cebu. i found fun and sun, a dive shop that offered a very good diving package. for a mere 3,000 pesos or about 100 sgd per person, one gets three dives plus the tanks with air and boat fee.

the first dive was in nalasuan. it was literally my first after i finished my course for the open water dive. i was nervous before i dove into the water. but the moment i went under, the knowledge came back to me. it was just like riding a bike. once u know, you will always know.

nalasuan was way better than davao. it was also a wall. there were more to see. fishes and corals. yeah, i know. that's what you see in coral reefs. duh! but i saw more than i did in davao. the dive master would sometime point something, and i'd think, ok another fish, what's the big deal?

the shrimp is supposedly rare. but with its size and color, i think spotting it is the rare thing.

it reminded me of sagada. there were so much rice terraces. every turn my friend would point them out to me. i told my other friend that if our friend points another one i'm gonna scream. after telling her that, my friend nudge me. yes. another rice terraces. ahhhhh!!!!!

anwyay, back to regular programming. after a while it got boring. seriously. there's only so much corals and fishes to be amazed with. well, unless u know which is which. but i don't. or you have a camera, which i also don't have.

after 31 mins, we were off the water. i was starting to get scared because i only had 50psi in my tank.

notice how much air i was using?

when we came up, the dive master gave me feedback about my diving skills. trust me, i am a sucker for feedback. freakin overachiever in me i guess. he said that i need to work on my breathing and my buoyancy. but he did say that it's pretty common for divers my level - new divers he meant. ok. got it! stop na!

hilatungan was way better than nalasuan. it was still a wall like the first dive. steeper and there were more stuff to see. yeah. more fishes and corals. but more variety this time.

this one's pretty common in the tropical waters.

more thrills too...like the fish attack. so there i was, watching this fish about to strike my fin again. i immediately turned around and swam away. at first i wasn't sure whether indeed it was an attack. but when i saw our dive master sheathing his knife back, i knew then that the damn fish was attacking my poor fin.

so that was the fish that our dive master was warning us about. before our first dive, the dive master mentioned that the area has a lot of titan trigger fish. i was like, ok. i really don't know what it looks like. so even if he signaled me, i wouldn't recognize it till it attacks me. you know that cliche about being careful what you wish for? well, you really better be careful. i was lucky that it was only attacking my fin. he mentioned stories about those fishes breaking masks or head-butting drivers. one even tried biting at a diver's thigh. unfortunately for the fish, its teeth got stuck. when the diver went back to the boat, he had lunch hanging between his legs.

the last dive was at talima. it wasn't really spectacular except for one thing. there was a hull of a sunken ship. it was pretty old looking at the corals that grew out of the skeleton. but with the school of fishes hanging around, i found it breathtaking.

click on the pic to see the sweetlips fish hanging out at the wreckage.

the three dives taught me a few things. how trigger fish looks like and that a dive knife is an worthwhile investment. also, i learned how to breathe better, consuming less air. and lastly, i learned how to use the air to maintain my buoyancy without relying much on my hands. the less movement i did, the longer i could use my 200psi of air. in my first dive, i had about 50 left after 31 minutes. in my last dive, i had 70psi left after a 42-minute dive. impressive right? very!

is my belt fabulous or not? definitely not!

pictures taken by leong

body jam

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 08:43:56 GMT

body jam is one of the many reasons why i go to gym. wait. i only have two reasons why i go to gym - to do weights and classes. nothing else. seriously! lol!

anyway, as much as i prefer free-style dance class over 'pre-choreographed' classes, beggars can't really be choosers. not all fitness first gyms offer free-style classes. besides, there's comfort in dancing your favorite moves and being able to follow everyone else whether you are in melbourne, singapore, bangkok or even cebu.

i had my first body jam class when i joined fitness first in manila more than 5 years ago. but when i moved to singapore, i had to stop going to the class because california fitness did not offer it then. but prior to going to melbourne for a work assignment, i transferred to fitness first singapore and was able to do body jam again.

thanks to my fitness first membership, i was able to try body jam classes in melbourne, singapore, bangkok, cebu and manila. of the four, melbourne is my favorite location. firstly, there's david who taught the class with a lot of energy and wit. no class was ever boring with him. too bad he gave up teaching towards the end of my melbourne stay. secondly, and most importantly, i can grab a place upfront, where no one blocks my view of my fabulous self in the mirrors. i can be vain sometimes, you know.

i still remember my first time in melbourne. i opted for the back row because i wasn't sure about myself and how good everyone else. three classes after, i was already upfront. many classes later, i was already smiling at the girl who always took the space beside mine upfront. i wasn't always good because some old tracks were new to me. but smiling always help me with this one. if i do a step wrongly, i just smile then try it better the next round. but after one class, i would normally pick the steps and dance like everyone else, unless it's jazz and entails a lot of twirling and jumping with twirls.

bangkok body jam is another story. firstly, the instructors speak thai. yeah, i get it. you love your language. and you also think i'm thai. lol. yeah, i really can't blame them since i am almost always mistaken as thai in bangkok. secondly, i really find it weird watching straight guys gyrating sexily to 'santa baby'. i guess that's one benefit for gay instructors. they can pull off sexy moves without needing to be funny or act funny or look funny in the process. i'm gay but even i don't dance when i know i won't look good doing it.

anyway, wherever i am dancing body jam, the session always relaxes me - despite my heart beating at 180. dancing has always been one of those frustrations of mine. i never got any formal training nor i'm really good at it. but sometimes, i do get the beat and the steps right. and when i do i get that feeling of joy. some call it endorphins while others call it dancing.

worst bday

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 03:23:31 GMT

this has got to be my worst bday. ever!

the damn day is almost over. it's almost 12 and here i am sitting on the bench in block 4 of the singapore general hospital. i just bought a carton of milo. apart from grapes and apple, i thought that this is among the drinks that i can push down the throat. though luck. i wanted to vomit half-way through the carton.

i have been sick since tues night. then all day wednesday. and then today - my birthday. i was lying on the sofa all day, watching tv. i should have been overjoyed cause i was off from work. but when i was shitting liquid and has no appetite whatsoever, celebrating my birthday became a least priority.

by evening, my fever came back. so i finally decided to haul my ass off the bed and go to the hospital. i live in pasir ris, so singapore general hospital was quite far. i only realized when i was on my way that i could have gone to changi general hospital instead. well, you can't blame a sick guy for not thinking straight.

the doctor wasn't convinced that i have dengue though. but since i would be paying sgd90 for this whole exercise, i told him to test my blood anyway. he was more than willing to suck blood. an hour or so later, he told me that the test results were inconclusive. the platelet count is below normal but not within the dengue range. he then drafted my MC and prescribed me meds for the fever and diarrhea, or diorrhea as they spell it here.

so there. it was the worst birthday. but even worse days have their silver linings when you know where to look. i don't have dengue. my fever is going down and i now have medicines for my diorrhea. hopefully, i would get better before my trip to cebu on monday.

-taken from my iphone notes

so slow

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:55:12 GMT

taking it slow - that's how you find love.

i forgot where i got that line. i just wrote it down the moment i heard it.

i'm not really good at following of advices about love. i always believe in finding love in the most unexpected of places. that's why you never look for it. it finds you. and when it does, you better hold on to it - in an un-freaking way of course.

but then again, maybe i'm doing it wrongly. that may explain why i'm single again. or maybe i'm getting OA because i'm turning a year older in the next few days. yeah. that would be the reason.

after turning 25, i would always hate this time of the year. moreso when i turned 30. damn! i am sooo getting older.

but everything in my life seems to be moving in the direction that, i may not want, seems the best for me. i just have to remind myself to take it slow and to be thankful. be grateful even for the little things. cause i could have never imagined nor accomplish how my life turned out on my own.

cebu!

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 10:47:35 GMT

taken from my iPhone notes
09 Feb 2009

today, i am going to cebu for an 11-month adventure.

i woke up quite a bit early. not really because my flight is at 9:05am but because i still have to pack. i only had yesterday to go about town and meet friends, after arriving last saturday night from melbourne. and since meeting friends was higher priority, i opted not to pack yesterday.

fortunately, i was out of the door by 8am. i grabbed a cab and was lucky enough to be at the check-in counter 40 minutes before my flight. as usual, i was running to my gate after i passed by immigration. some things just don't change.

anyway, cebu! i've grown up in davao, worked in makati and, now, i will be conquering cebu.

ahhh... life! who doesn't love it?

loooking back

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:35:01 GMT

year 2008 was quite, to quote a friend, action-packed.

death and break-up
the year started out badly. i was mourning my dad's death. and in the process of doing that, i broke up my long-distanced relationship with my bf. not really a great way to start any one's year. but that was the cards dealt to me then. luckily, i was able to move on from both losses.

from my dad's death, i realized and accepted that i am the head of our family. i've been one for a long time. but i've always looked up to him as one when he was still around. with him gone, i have no one to look up to anymore but myself. and with that, i officially accepted that i am one of those responsible gays in the world - their family's breadwinner.

and from the bf loss, i finally admitted that i am a man not made for long-distance relationships... period for now. hehehe. okay fine. i don't want to eat my words in the future. but for now, that's how i feel.

milestone
moving along, i got to celebrate a milestone in my life before the first quarter ended. guess which? yes, the dreaded 30. when i was voicing my pain about my turning aged, some friends said that it's just a number. when you are in your 20's, you would disagree.

then you turn 30. the world seems to crash to a stumbling halt. and just before it really crashes, you realize that it is just a number. you are no different from the guy at 11:59pm pre-natal day. and to breeze through that traumatic day, you convince yourself that you look and feel better than you did the day before - when you were still in your 20's. as the days passed, you actually look and feel better. nothing can stop the power of an optimistic mind. that or i just keep convincing myself. either way, it works, damn it! lol!

melbourne
then came april. i rolled off from my local project and was 'working' from home. i was very happy to be paid a full-month salary doing practically nothing. i planned on 'working' in bangkok for a week. but the plans disappeared one hot, humid april morning. i received an email from our immigration consultant in australia. it turned out that the visa that i was expecting to get approved at the end of may has been approved way earlier. after a week in manila for a business trip and another week in singapore to pack and say goodbye to dear old friends, i was off to melbourne.

i still remember that first day i arrived in melbourne. it was a cold, gloomy, rainy autumn day. i didn't have enough sleep in my red-eye flight and i was hungry. a bad combination for anyone not anorexic. after depositing my stuff in my apartment along claredon street, i walked to the city. turned out, i was inappropriately dressed. my summer sweater was not good enough for the coldest may 17 in melbourne's history. after walking in my wet chucks, i decided to go home and sleep. i was hating melbourne and missing dear old warm, sun-shiny singapore.

the next day though was another story. i woke up with the sun desperately reaching out from the gloomy clouds. it was a new day. i decided to give melbourne a chance. with my camera in tow, i explored the city again. and this time, i started falling in love with city.

my romance with melbourne would last until december. in this laid-back but artistically inclined city, i would meet old friends and make new ones. also, in this lovely city, i finally let my guard down and took the fall. i fell in love with this sweet indo boy. i'd always remember holding his hand while walking along bourke street, stealing kisses while shopping in safeway or sleeping beside him on his sofa while he studied. alas, some good things were not meant to last. he left for indo for his school break and when he disappeared behind the immigration doors, my heart broke to a thousand pieces. drama but true. lech.

i had no regrets though. i've always wanted to fall in love and get hurt in the process. i finally did. and boy it hurts. good thing there's endorphins from exercise and brief joy from retail therapy. and after more than 2 months of convincing myself that i'm okay, i was finally able to move on. the ache still throb when i remember something about him. but i guess that's something that the next guy can help me with. landi!

and in between all that, i would learn to drink more - hello! free drinks in the office on thurs afternoon! besides, the wines are really cheap and some nights are better off with a bottle of wine, a couple of dunhill frosted sticks and view from the 44th story of the eureka tower. those were the nights post break-up though.

and then just like that it was over. not before i caught wicked though. the play was really good. i packed my bags again then did my goodbyes. 'i love this city. i will be back.', i promised myself.

diving
i spent a week in singapore to meet friends then i was off to my hometown Davao City for the holidays. i thought that was how i would close 2008. but the damn year won't be let off easily. Janus invited me to join her in her PADI diving certification. we did the dives on Dec 30 and 31 and the last two dives on Jan 2. it was a perfect way to end the year - acquiring a new skill for next year's new adventures. cebu, bohol and tubataha reefs are waiting to be dived in.

i am ecstatic how my 30th year unfold. it was, without doubt, my best year so far.

happy new year

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:27:50 GMT

new year, new look, new me.

leaving

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:08:40 GMT

i thought that i was looking forward to leaving melbourne. but as my departure date draws close, i feel sad. i've truly fallen in love with this city.

i've only been here for more than six months. but they were very eventful months. i made good friends, traveled around, caught up with old friends, fell in love and had my heart broken.

this trip was my test drive. i've already considered moving to melbourne from singapore a long time ago. and now that i've experienced the city, i've definitely made up my mind. i will move here. hopefully by 2010. if not, then maybe after.

shoeses

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 12:51:57 GMT

seven months later in melbourne, i added 5 pairs of shoes and 3 pairs of flops. and this is me curbing my spending habits...

running

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 05:03:31 GMT

finally...

i've turn to running for the following:
1. much needed happy hormones (endorphins)
2. trimming down in a month
3. clearing my head

and so far i achieved all of them. yey!

song from wicked

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:53:41 GMT

elphaba, i can relate...

i'm not that girl

hands touch, eyes meet
sudden silence, sudden heat
hearts leap in a giddy whirl
he could be that boy
but i'm not that girl:

don't dream too far
don't lose sight of who you are
don't remember that rush of joy
he could be that boy
i'm not that girl

ev'ry so often we long to steal
to the land of what-might-have-been
but that doesn't soften the ache we feel
when reality sets back in

blithe smile, lithe limb
she who's winsome, she wins him
gold hair with a gentle curl
that's the girl he chose
and heaven knows
i'm not that girl:

don't wish, don't start
wishing only wounds the heart
i wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
there's a girl i know
he loves her so
i'm not that girl

nugget of wisdom

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 08:47:11 GMT

a timely advice from an ex-fling:

don't feel bad about what happened. in life, bad things happen. and the fact that we live through it means we must forgive. and that's exactly what i did.

maybe i should do that too. but not right now. i just did shock last night and anger right now.
that leaves me with sadness then acceptance. getting over you is not as difficult as i thought it would be. well, considering how fast i went from shock to anger. or maybe that's the easy part. maybe the hard parts are the next two. i wonder.

ending

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 14:20:39 GMT

and it ended... with a hug, a kiss and a wave. a bit of half-meant bitter words were exchanged then we parted. i looked at him until the immigration doors swallowed him away from my sight.

i haven't cried. yet.

now alone in my apartment, i welcome the company of a glass of wine and some cigarette sticks. i don't want to think about this tonight. i just want to continue numbing everything and face my loss in due time. for now, i'll enjoy this glass of vintage cabarnet merlot and a stick or two of dunhill frosted.

happy ending

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:35:01 GMT

S requested for this song while we were driving from chadstone back to the city. it was happy ending by mika. i always loved the song because of its catchy melody. and as i watched the streets you drove through, the song spoke to me.

this is the way that we love,
like it's forever
to live the rest of our life,
but not together

this is the way you left me,
i'm not pretending
no hope, no love, no glory,
no happy ending

ouch.

we fell for each other knowing that it will end soon enough.

two more days and soon enough will become a reality.

looking at the bright side, at least i have my eyes wide open as the end unfolds. no surprises. it is just like going through surgery without anaesthesia. typical walk in a park kind of thing.

still. ouch.

paella

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:29:15 GMT

paella best enjoyed along st kilda and best eaten while people watching.